It really is time to update — it’s been two weeks since the last post. I was supposed to update once a week, which clearly hasn’t gone to plan. So I’ll write two posts this weekend.
I was watching Friends recently, and there was this episode where Ross was about to fly to China. When Rachel found out he’d always liked her, she rushed to the airport to confess. She got there in a panic, but Ross had just gone through the gate. Rachel tried to push through, but security wouldn’t let her. So she asked them to pass along a message: “Tell him I’ll pick him up when he gets back.” But the message got passed to someone else and never reached Ross. When Ross came back, Rachel bought flowers and waited at the airport for him — only to see Ross walking toward her, with someone else by his side. Rachel was caught completely off guard. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. In the chaos of trying to escape, she bumped her forehead and cut it…
I remember almost crying when I watched that scene. Feeling so sorry for Rachel. Sad. Heartbroken.
I want to be in a relationship, but I don’t know how. I think about it, but I don’t dare act on it. I’m afraid that slowly, I’ll lose the ability to pursue someone altogether. And yet I still can’t bring myself to go after a girl. I was chatting with Figure about this yesterday, and I think my biggest problem is that I’m becoming more and more insecure.
Time to move on. Going to West Lake and Xixi Wetland tomorrow.